By Robert Scucci | Published
Once again, Rotten Tomatoes led me astray and kept me away from the Nicolas Cage film. Season of the Witch – the dark, supernatural action-adventure fantasy film set during the Smyrniote Crusades – and robbed me of one of our best acting films back when it was primarily direct-to-video content . Even if this film is not Cage’s hour of glory (we’re still waiting National Treasure 3 here), it in no way deserves the abysmal 11% review score it currently has on the popular review aggregator.
My ego was also inflated to the point of no return after watching Season of the Witch because my theory has proven correct once again: if you watch enough (allegedly) terrible movies, sometimes you strike gold in the form of a fun movie with fast-paced, action sequences frenetic and lively dialogues.
Will Season of the Witch be remembered as one of the greatest films of our time? Absolutely not. But it’s one of those rainy Sunday afternoon streaming movies that’s definitely worth 95 minutes of your time.
A good witch time
Season of the Witch is carried by Sir Behmen von Bleibruck (Nicolas Cage) and Sir Felson (Ron Perlman), two knights who saw their share of massacres during their tenure with the Smyrniote Crusades of the 14th century. Becoming disgusted by their large-scale acts of violence in the name of God against all nonbelievers (including innocent women and children), Behmen and Felson decided to abandon their mission and walk away from the violence that defined most of their adult lives. Behmen and Felson are eventually exposed as deserters while traveling through plague-infested Styria, and a sickly Cardinal d’Ambroise (Christopher Lee) gives them the mission of transporting an alleged witch named Anna (Claire Foy) to a group of monks. a distant monastery to benefit from a fair trial.
Refusing the mission means imprisonment and possibly death by hanging or burning (Felson would prefer a quick hanging if he has the luxury of choosing how he dies), but both knights will receive a full pardon if they agree to go through the dark forest and make good for delivery.
Joined by the priest Debelzaq (Stephen Campbell Moore), Cardinal Johann’s head guard (Ulrich Thomsen), a card expert and con artist named Hagamar (Stephen Graham), and an alter boy with chivalric aspirations known as Kay von Wollenbart (Robert Sheehan), Behmen and Felson set out in search of the monastery. Cardinal D’Ambroise believes that Anna is responsible for the Black Death that raged in Europe in Season of the Witchand he has reason to believe that the monastery holds the key to stopping the plague in its tracks.
Buddy Cop jokes for days
In the midst of an identity crisis, Season of the Witch plays more like a buddy cop movie than an epic fantasy adventure film. Behmen and Felson don’t just act half-heartedly as one might think, but seem to have the time of their lives traversing the wilderness and transporting Anna to her trial and eventual execution. Having been wartime buddies during the epic battle montages found early in the film, they are both so desensitized to violence that they crack jokes like old college roommates at a bachelor party.
Although they take their mission seriously, they definitely whistle as they work to end the chore, giving this film a level of charm I wasn’t expecting.
Season of the Witch sets up this dynamic between Behmen and Felson right from the start during the shock-cut opening fight sequences, which remind me of the warpath found in the Wolfgang Petersen-directed film starring Brad Pitt. Troy. Before racing down the hills to execute hundreds of men with swords, Behmen and Felson first debate who will be the hero of the day and who will buy rounds of beer and mead after a well-fought battle. Against the dark subject at the heart of Season of the WitchI appreciate how his sense of humor breaks the tension when things start to get serious.
Don’t be fooled by cynical reviews
At the end of the day, all I want from my media consumption is to be entertainedAnd Season of the Witch ticks all the boxes on my “pass it into my eyeballs” bingo card. Between the epic battles, the wizard wolves roaming the dark forest, and the endless chemistry between Cage and Perlman, you’d be hard-pressed to find a Black Death movie as entertaining as this one.
If you don’t believe me, consider this:
1980s Xanadu currently has a critical score of 31 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a significantly higher score than that of Season of the Witch. At least the latter title actually has some semblance of a plot, and not a single instance of roller-disco song-and-dance routines in place of narrative. Of course, Season of the Witch has a disappointing lack of Kublai Khan’s pleasure dome, but I’m willing to take the risk and say it’s probably for the best.
As of this writing, you can stream Season of the Witch for free on Tubi
